New Years Reflections - Not Resolutions

My social media feeds are currently crammed with sponsored posts about 30 day challenges to achieve the ultimate whatever and make 2023 the best year yet. Interestingly I'm yet to meet anyone whose New Year resolution has stuck - so it got me thinking - should we be making resolutions or should we be using this as a time of reflection?

I'm definitely in the reflection camp driven by the belief that its our habits, built from our processes and systems, that either help us to thrive or create the barriers that we continually fall short of the life that we want to be living. James Clear's Atomic Habits is well worth a read if you haven't already (and its one I keep jumping back into). Some of his concepts are so simple and easy to implement it's a book that I think should be given to every 13 year old on their birthday (and then again at 18 and again at 25, 30 etc.......because sometimes we just aren't ready to receive the information we need aye!).

I think one of the reasons resolutions have never worked for me is that I'm kinda lazy when it comes to my physical appearance. I don't go to the hairdressers (either my husband or son give me a once over with the clippers), I intend to use weights, which I know is very important for someone like me in the thick of perimenopause, but yeah nah. I like the thought of running a marathon or having a six pack, but I don't have the desire to put in either the work or the sacrifice both would require. My use of makeup has reduced drastically (its not uncommon for me to go to work with just my face oil on) and the state of my nails would never make me a candidate for a hand model (yes that is a thing). Having done some reflection this "laziness" is more that I associate a lot of the above with vanity and for me that's a bad thing. So for 2023 I'm going to flip the script and change the story to looking after my physical appearance is a way to show gratitude to my body for all the amazing things it does. We will see how that goes.

I've got some prompts I will be using this year. Like the seasons, these change as life is constantly changing - what once worked wonders may now be holding me back. What has helped one person to thrive may nearly break another. It's always about experimenting and putting together tools that work for you in this moment - not the you of a few years/months/weeks/days ago. Some of these prompts are harder to answer than I first thought but I always know when I've hit the mark as there is that feeling inside that tells me "that's it!" - filling me with enthusiasm and motivation to take the action and build the habits I'll need.

Reflection Prompts

What do I want to bring with me?

Those positive habits and beliefs that are helping me create a life that I actively participate and thrive in.

What do I want to leave behind?

These are the habits and beliefs that may have served me well previously but are now either no longer needed or are barriers to the journey I now want to take.

What habits do I need to strengthen?

How can I put in place systems and processes to make doing those habits easier

What skills do I need to learn?

Life is a journey of learning (well it should be!!) so what skills do I need to help be achieve the life I want to create

Where do I want to focus?

This is normally the hard one because it means letting go of somethings that you really want to do - our have it all and have it now desires.

Are my goals still aligned?

I have a notebook with goals that I cross off each time one is achieved. This time of the year I look through it and make sure that each one still triggers joy - if it doesn't it gets removed so I can be sure I'm only focusing on growing joy, not ticking off a to do/should do list.

What beliefs do I need to challenge/gather more data on?

We all have default stories that have probably served us well up to a point. The trick is making sure that they are still serving us well, and just as important are still true. Adam Grants, Think Again, is gold if you want to dig into this a bit more.

What support do I need?

Again this one is a hard one for me as I'm not very good at asking to help, but I've got to keep reminding myself that people love helping others, that it takes a community and that the worst that can happen is that they say no - actually I think the worst is that they say yes and then let you down, but that's a whole other rabbit hole we don't need to go down right now!

However you leave 2022 and enter into 2023 I hope its in a way that helps you to create a life that you actively participate and thrive in.

With kindness

Nadine xx